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Joanne Gallacher
By Joanne Gallacher

Single Parents


Pros and Cons of being a single parent

Pros and Cons to being a single parentSingle parents are often afraid that their children will be damaged from only having one parent in their home, and the results of so-called studies often do little to placate their anxiety. However, your single parenting status can actually offer many advantages for your children.

Studies have demonstrated that the worst home situation for children is living in a home that is filled with frequent adult conflict.

A one-parent home can be better than a two-parent home that is filled with adult conflicts and fighting, as the parent has more time for the kids as a solo parent, and the children actually benefit from not having to see poor adult relationship patterns in their home. Which ultimately will affect them as an adult, if the conflict continues for a long period of time.

It may be more advantageous to your children than having them perpetuate the same bad relationship patterns in another generation. Since kids learn from what they see, it may be more beneficial for them to learn about two-parent relationships from other intact families rather than from two parents who bear animosity towards one another.

If a split is the only option for the parents, it's good to try and take postives from the outcome. For instance the children will learn to live through some hardships and adapt to differing circumstances during and after the divorce. You may not have the family situation that you originally pictured, but you can still have a wonderful, loving family.

Plus, the more time you spend with your children can be a huge benefit to being a single parent. Meals can be simpler as kids tend to have limited tastes and appetites, at least while they are small. If you are used to having a partner that rarely helped with housework, you now have one less person to clean up after and do the laundry for.

I know it may sound harsh, but when times are tough it's easy to concentrate on the negative rather than putting a positive spin on your situation.

The opportunity to spend time in two separate homes can be a good experience for your children. They will see different approaches to life and hopefully, take the best of both homes to use in establishing their own households as adults.

Children whose biological parents are not together often will have a step-parent or maybe two. This can be a plus for your child, as they get to see other lifestyles and participate in experiences that they may not have with their actual parents. And, the larger the number of involved adults in the child’s life, the better.

Kids who live with one parent become independent faster than other children their age. As a single parent, you may not be able to return home from work or other responsibilities at said times, the kids will learn to prepare a simple meal or maybe do some laundry if their favorite outfit isn’t clean. Those children who are raised in two-parent homes often don’t get as many opportunities to learn to take care of themselves. Your children will also realise that since your relationship did not last, that this could also happen to them, and they’d better be prepared to support themselves economically and to run a household on their own.

A favourite benefit of many kids from single parent families is that they often get two or more celebrations for each holiday. They may get two sets of gifts at Christmas, often getting more stuff than they would have if the parents were together. Two Easter baskets, valentine’s gifts, are also enjoyed by many of these children.

The ideal family with two parents can be a great situation for children. But, single parent families offer unique advantages for children. While your kids are having to live in two separate households, you can also discuss some of the good things that can come from living in a single parent home. As long as there is lots of love and positive discipline, your children will benefit from the advantages of single parenting.

To sum up, if you're a parent who is constantly conflicting with your partner, and feel like you've done all you can to save your relationship. Remember that you have not failed your children if you then decide to be a single parent. 

For more details about marriage and relationship guidance contact relate or gingerbread for details about being a single parent.


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