Joanne Gallacher
By Joanne Gallacher

Single Parents

Pros and Cons of being a single parent

Pros and Cons to being a single parentSingle parents are often afraid that their children will be damaged from only having one parent in their home, and the results of so-called studies often do little to placate their anxiety. However, your single parenting status can actually offer many advantages for your children.

Studies have demonstrated that the worst home situation for children is living in a home that is filled with frequent adult conflict.

A one-parent home can be better than a two-parent home that is filled with adult conflicts and fighting, as the parent has more time for the kids as a solo parent, and the children actually benefit from not having to see poor adult relationship patterns in their home. Which ultimately will affect them as an adult, if the conflict continues for a long period of time.

It may be more advantageous to your children than having them perpetuate the same bad relationship patterns in another generation. Since kids learn from what they see, it may be more beneficial for them to learn about two-parent relationships from other intact families rather than from two parents who bear animosity towards one another.

If a split is the only option for the parents, it's good to try and take postives from the outcome. For instance the children will learn to live through some hardships and adapt to differing circumstances during and after the divorce. You may not have the family situation that you originally pictured, but you can still have a wonderful, loving family.

Plus, the more time you spend with your children can be a huge benefit to being a single parent. Meals can be simpler as kids tend to have limited tastes and appetites, at least while they are small. If you are used to having a partner that rarely helped with housework, you now have one less person to clean up after and do the laundry for.

I know it may sound harsh, but when times are tough it's easy to concentrate on the negative rather than putting a positive spin on your situation.

The opportunity to spend time in two separate homes can be a good experience for your children. They will see different approaches to life and hopefully, take the best of both homes to use in establishing their own households as adults.

Children whose biological parents are not together often will have a step-parent or maybe two. This can be a plus for your child, as they get to see other lifestyles and participate in experiences that they may not have with their actual parents. And, the larger the number of involved adults in the child’s life, the better.

Kids who live with one parent become independent faster than other children their age. As a single parent, you may not be able to return home from work or other responsibilities at said times, the kids will learn to prepare a simple meal or maybe do some laundry if their favorite outfit isn’t clean. Those children who are raised in two-parent homes often don’t get as many opportunities to learn to take care of themselves. Your children will also realise that since your relationship did not last, that this could also happen to them, and they’d better be prepared to support themselves economically and to run a household on their own.

A favourite benefit of many kids from single parent families is that they often get two or more celebrations for each holiday. They may get two sets of gifts at Christmas, often getting more stuff than they would have if the parents were together. Two Easter baskets, valentine’s gifts, are also enjoyed by many of these children.

The ideal family with two parents can be a great situation for children. But, single parent families offer unique advantages for children. While your kids are having to live in two separate households, you can also discuss some of the good things that can come from living in a single parent home. As long as there is lots of love and positive discipline, your children will benefit from the advantages of single parenting.

To sum up, if you're a parent who is constantly conflicting with your partner, and feel like you've done all you can to save your relationship. Remember that you have not failed your children if you then decide to be a single parent. 

For more details about marriage and relationship guidance contact relate or gingerbread for details about being a single parent.

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Your comments

  1. Am also overwhelmed by the pressure of solo parenting. Sometimes the kids don t follow my advices.

    Added by Oumatjie Tuyoleni 15th October 2011 - 17:34
  2. Tyesha, I wish you all the luck in the world. You are never alone really xx

    Added by Joanne 7th September 2009 - 13:44
  3. i will be a single parent to

    Added by tyesha 2nd September 2009 - 15:46
  4. Oh no Virginia - you sound like you are having a rough time. Maybe you should try talking to them.

    We have interviewed actress Nanette Newman about being a grandparent. Listen to her interview here:- http://www.mybabyradio.com/my-baby-podcasts/archive/nanette-newman-offers-grandparenting-tips/

    Added by Joanne 17th July 2009 - 10:57
  5. Question for you?????  What do I do with 2 grown daughters who I live with, and my 3 grandchildren when the sparks fly towards me?  I get blamed for things, I get yelled out when I don’t do anything wrong, sometimes I feel isolated, alone, no one cares about me.  Whenever I get paid then everyone in the family is “kissy kissy” up to me and then they seems to be nice to me.  Otherwise, “who gives me the time of day” when I’m broke and alone, no one cares anymore about grandma or mom.  What can I do to protect myself from all of this.  Sometimes I can to pack my bags and leave and never go back.  Can you help this desperate mom and grandmother.

    Sincerely yours,

    Virginia Robles

    Added by Virginia Robles 17th July 2009 - 00:06
  6. Hi ya, I was with my ex for 5 yrs, I’ve been a single mum for 2yrs, I have 2 sons 4 and 2, since I’ve been a single mum I’ve been a lot closer to sons, my older son is like my best friend and I mother my youngest so much. I do find it easier on my own but I don’t have any time for me, but i like it that way.

    Added by jackie 1st April 2009 - 01:57
  7. this article is a sort of relief to my mind

    Added by ruchira 13th March 2009 - 08:44
  8. Yes, Nobody ever said single parenting is easy. As parents, we all learn with time. However, too often, the pressure of single parenting can be so overwhelming that it?s easy to make mistakes.

    Added by Emily 25th September 2008 - 13:43

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